blair

2009-05-13T10:35:00.000-07:00

"Welcome back, Miss Jones"

Nothing to say.

2009-04-01T19:56:00.000-07:00

2009-03-23T21:29:00.001-07:00

Impossible, unattainable standards.

(This is all I want, really)

2009-03-09T20:24:00.000-07:00

2009-02-17T21:14:00.000-08:00

Life 2.17

1. Friends on DVD.

2. Cutting up my credit card last week. liberating.

3. Dreams. I love going to sleep at night.

4. The new frozen yogurt place by work.

5. Whole Foods.

I want to change my life.

I want to change everything.

2009-02-05T20:50:00.000-08:00

Working retail is hard: you have to stand all day and you have to come to the realization that the average person walking around your local mall is not only a total dumbass, but completely fucking insane.

Before I got this job, I had no idea. I had no idea the lengths that people would go to to save $4.87. My problem stems not from the idea of saving money, but from the fact that people are completely morally intact when doing so. I'm so sick of people trying to rip off the company to get price adjustments, return worn/dirty/ripped merchandise (since when did "I ironed a hole in my shirt" become "you need to replace my shirt because I'm a moron"?), use old/expired/27 coupons.at.the.same.time, etc. etc. A woman today asked my to honor a coupon from a different company (from Home fucking Depot - not even from the same industry).

I don't buy any of this "I'm sticking it to the man because I hate big business" either.

And the customer, by the way, is hardly ever right.

Identity Theft: Part 2

2009-01-29T21:55:00.000-08:00

In an attempt to continue my ongoing efforts to obtain good financial standing, I logged into my Visa account tonight after work to make a $100 payment.

Lo and behold, nestled in between my account name and the logout button, was a large red message informing me that my account had been tagged for fraudulent activity and was henceforth closed. Approximately .0048 seconds later I was on the phone with customer service (it really is my favorite thing to call these people at 11pm after 12 hour shifts) who informed me that my account was part of "a group" that had been "tagged" in some sort of "scheme."

Sigh.

Even more upsetting was when she was reading back my recent transactions.

CS: Was your last purchase in the amount of $7.15 at...Jimmy Johns?

Me: Yes.

CS: And before that, $7.15 at Jimmy Johns?

Me: Yep.

CS: And earlier in the week, $7.15 at Jimmy Johns?

Me. Yes. Again.

I could hear the scorn in her voice.

Thus, my no payment was made, I now feel like an idiot for charging like...a year's worth of sandwiches, and I've come to the conclusion that I'm so boring that I can't even mix up my lunch order once in a while.

P.S. IdentityMonitor my ass.

2009-01-28T20:52:00.001-08:00

I wonder if I'll ever stop fighting with my Dad.

I wonder if he knows how deep the chasm is.

Good Karma Pt.2

2009-01-25T20:10:00.000-08:00

Who gives a fuck about an Oxford comma?/I've see those English dramas too/They're cruel

Trying not to buy

1. Entourage on iTunes

2. My So-Called Life on DVD

3. Revolutionary Road

4. Seychelles shoes at work

5. Coffee

it's been a bad money month: i should probably stay away from buying anything.

Grateful for:

1. Hot showers

2. My bed

3. Watching TV in bed

4. LOST premiere

5. Employment!

my check-cashing friend emailed me today. the subject line said 'address for your boxes.' he has 3/5 of the boxes of my stuff from my breakup. the email had no content besides the subject line. nice. i have to figure out how to get them to mi casa without mi mami finding out.

Good Karma Pt.1

2009-01-19T21:50:00.001-08:00

Things I'm grateful for:

1. My new Coach planner.

2. Soy lattes.

3. The lyrical stylings of Jenny Lewis.

4. TV marathons (currently: 24).

5. Employment!

Mood-o-the day: un peu apprehensive. 85% of the way done with Transfer Applications. Impending doom? I hope not. Thus: only positive thoughts from now on. I won't allow myself to be overcome by fear anymore.

Life Rehab

2009-01-15T20:48:00.000-08:00

Today, I got a Coach planner.

This totally goes against every money-saving plan I've set out for this year, but I have a friend that works at the store and got it with her 50% discount. It's so beautiful, and I paid cash (and have been credit card free [using, not owing-on...] since Dec. 24!).

I got it in a good-faith, symbolic move to pull myself out of the fucking gutter this year. Seriously: I don't know what the hell I'm doing. I'm so smart (and apparently not so modest), and I'm floating around taking community college classes after being enrolled at one of the best schools in the country, weighed down by debt and low self esteem.

I'm so disappointed in myself.

I am totally reminded of that scene in Definitely, Maybe when Ryan Reynolds says

You should go to life rehab or something like that

I'm going to start with little habits: I've already cut out drinking soda. Next I want to focus on taking vitamins every day, ceasing needless lunch/coffee purchases, waking up at 6am, and most importantly, getting my application to Rice finished. And working out more (read: at all).

The Reader

2009-01-11T19:37:00.000-08:00

I read The Reader in two days this week, and I haven't enjoyed a book this much since I read Atonement. What a beautiful inquest into human morality.

I bought it on a whim because I felt like I needed to buy something (and really, there is nothing less necessary than books when you have half a bookcase full of unread ones) and because I thought the movie trailer looked good.

My next read is going to be Revolutionary Road because...the trailer looked good for that too. It's funny that I generally am intrigued by books that are turned into movies, but I don't usually like movie adaptations of books.

I do, however, like my home-away-from-home, Barnes and Noble.

Identity Theft: Part 1

2009-01-05T22:26:00.000-08:00

In an effort to start off the year in good financial standing, I decided to check out my free annual credit report tonight after work. Lo and behold, nestled in between my Ann Taylor charge (balance: 55.99) and my Visa (balance: 4,539) was a Washington Mutual credit card. One that's been open for a year. Luckily, there's no balance on it. Unluckily, it's something that I didn't know about and definitely didn't authorize. I called the 1800 number and was able to confirm that I certainly didn't-apply-for-it-and-whoops-silly-me-I-totally-forgot-about-it when the lady told me it was an ESPN Rewards Card. Yeah, right.

So, an hour and half later, I'm on hold with the fraud department, and I'm starting to feel like Phoebe in that Friends episode where she spends all night on the phone because she's the next caller in line (lying bastards).

Suddenly, those Citi identity theft commercials don't seem so funny...

2009 Goals Redux

2009-01-04T18:21:00.000-08:00

Read a book/week

Must reads for this year: Margaret Atwood, Anna Karenina, War and Peace, and anything that will enlighten me on the middle east (even lumping it all into one category makes me cringe)

Run 750 miles
Get out of the country this summer

All the immediate unknowns

Are better than this tired and lonely fate

In thinking about how I want to start off this new year, I've come up with a mental list that's so exhausting that it hurts to think about. My main goal, therefore, is to not feel like this a year from now. I feel so much that I've let other people define my perception of myself (especially in the last 3 years) - people I don't think are particularly smart or enviable.

Why?

Goals for 2009

2008-12-30T22:28:00.000-08:00

Transfer into Rice (I had a dream last night that I did!)
Get my (beloved) boxes back from when I broke up with A.
Buy everyone in my family a birthday present
No soda or fast food for the whole year
Go out more, stay in less, make a new friend
Pay Visa down to 4,000 (double ouch) - that's all I'm focusing on with it for now

I read Emily Post for etiquette

2008-11-10T09:36:00.000-08:00

Nothing happens in my life.

Last week a friend cashed a check that I'd sent him over six months ago. I'm fairly certain that if you hold onto a check for the better part of a year, it's courteous to give the sender a head's up that you're going to cash it. Needless to say, my account was overdrawn and fees were amassed. It took every bone in my body not to write a snarky email to said friend. I didn't, because I know (I know) it's my fault for not keeping the money in my account. Lesson learned. But also: what a crappy thing to do (he's also the type that brags about raises and promotions while I'm still in school suffering with my hourly wage)

I have such a problem when people do stuff like this. On so many levels, too. It's not like I think he's "wrong": he had every right to cash the check, and in fact, I'm glad he did, because now I don't feel like I owe him anything.

But in my mind I picture him going to the bank, taking out a pen, signing the check, and depositing the money. And not thinking that a quick text giving me notice would be a nice gesture.

Furthermore this was a sum of money ($180) that was a lot to me, with the holidays coming up and finals in the near future, and according to what he says about his massively successful career, is nothing compared to the thousands he's raking in from his job-on-the-side, day trading. So he's either lying, and could really use the money (which is fine), or he's too cheap/inconsiderate to figure that maybe he could just let it go.

2008-11-07T10:06:00.000-08:00

Lately I've been picking up shifts at work from this girl (woman) named Andrea. I wonder why she took a second job if she doesn't want the hours. She always fakes being sick and I wonder if I look as lame when I fake being sick. The other day she left her folder in the break room: her bank statement was inside and she's overdrawn her checking account by $660.

It made me feel really good about myself, and then really mean for feeling really good.

2008-10-29T22:56:00.000-07:00

It's not as if New York City burnt down to the ground

Once you drove away

It's not as if the sun won't shine

When clouds up above

Wash the blues away

2008-05-29T19:34:00.000-07:00

In an attempt to ward myself off from a $7.49 lunch at Chipotle today, I boutique-wandered and ended up spending $260 on a pair of Joe's Jeans, a James Perse tank, and some Hanky Panky thongs.

It's so, so pathetic that I could even justify that to myself.

Karma.

2008-05-19T00:24:00.000-07:00

Today I mailed a $600 check to my ex-boyfriend for last year's Spring Break. It really pisses me off that I'm cutting my checking account balance in half for some douchebag that I'll never talk to again.

I'm trying really hard to feel good about doing the right thing. It's taking the high road.

I'm also really excited for him to get some nice butt-kicking-karma shot back his way. His being denied a US Visa and concurrent deportation back to England-a-go-go is a nice start!

Progress Report

2008-04-10T14:40:00.000-07:00

In attempting to figure out where I currently stand, life-progress-wise, this is what I came up with:

-3 years a top-ten university, but:

-No degree

-$30,000 in student loans

-$4,600 Visa bill (ouch)

-No car (/no driver's license, although I can drive)

-Have become one those people that loiter at Barnes and Noble all day (although I'm not quite as bad as the girl who brings her own blanket and drinks from Chick-fil-A).